Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Dow Sets Another New High; S&P Within Two Points as Europe Burns

OK, since things are getting pretty weird out there in financial-bizarro-land, today's post will not include the usual market post-mortems, but instead some witty vitriol from the comments of a few choice financial blogs.

Banks in Cyprus are scheduled to open on Thursday, so plan on the bank runs starting then. Meanwhile, US markets don't seem to care that Europe is becoming a more dangerous place for money, with Cyprus-like "bail-ins" rumored to be written into law. In other words, the bank can take your money if they made some bad investments or need to shore up their balance sheets. Nice!

Note: the editor or idiot-in-chief takes no responsibility for the accuracy or validity or truthiness of any of the following. Bunga-bunga.

Going long German bank vault builders.

With all the money that's going to be sloshing around Germany, could this foment another Weimar moment?

Ve have all de monies. Ve are rich! You vant milk? 500 euros. Danka.

Ok, OK, I'm getting this image here, that money leaves all periphery banks, sooooooo... what about all that Basel III (I think that's the one), that the banks are supposed to have X percentage of tier one capital? Uh, is that why the Eu said, well, move those requirements back a few years.

OK. Then these banks, without sufficient capital in them when the bank runs begin, go under... hard. Bank holidays across all of Southern Europe. Capital controls: only able to withdraw 30 Eu per day, something like that. (there's great potential for black markets, i.e., I'll write you a check, Guido, you cash it and give me the money. I'll give you XX euros.)

So, massive bank runs, governments shitting their pants, bond yields heading to zero, the US 10-year goes below 1%, the 30 down below 2%, and I can move out of the foreclosed home I inherited and buy some squishy new place at something like 2.25% on a 30-year loan. Sounds like a plan to me, unless my friends at Bank of America forget to proceed on that foreclosure, like they have for the past 3 years.

One nice feature of this nearly-100-year-old home, it's huge, with lots of places to hide cash and shiny things. No mortgage and - I love this part - the bank, being that they foreclosed, are responsible for the ridiculous NY state real property taxes. They've already ponied up over $15k, and that's on an $81K home. They were even so good as to pay the interest on the back taxes, and, twice a year, I get a letter from the govt. that the taxes have been paid, even though I never get a bill any more, that goes directly to the bank. Man, those guys at the bank sure are smart.

Life can't really get much better, or, maybe a real depression will end up making my extended pre-retirement even better!!!! (Four exclamation marks in honor of the Mogambo Guru.)

Party on. Bund-a, bund-a!

OT: Just for the laughs, Fannie Mae just listed this beauty for $3000 in Rochester, NY (my homie townie).

Just look at the pics and read the description. LMAO

Current Keiser Report after the stats.

Dow 14,559.65, +111.90 (0.77%)
NASDAQ 3,252.48, +17.18 (0.53%)
S&P 500 1,563.77, +12.08 (0.78%)
NYSE Composite 9,083.71, +60.75 (0.67%)
NASDAQ Volume 1,421,957,375
NYSE Volume 3,114,387,000
Combined NYSE & NASDAQ Advance - Decline: 4165-2247
Combined NYSE & NASDAQ New highs - New lows: 392-34
WTI crude oil: 96.34, +1.53
Gold: 1,595.70, -8.80
Silver: 28.68, -0.136

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