Fake, Fake, Fake Rally After Non-Farm Payroll Jobs Disappointment

With baited breath, the world awaits the January non-farm payroll report, and, when it is released, and it is far worse, far weaker than expected, stocks go straight up.

Yes, that's exactly what happened. Yes, it defies logic. NO, we're not buying it.

Just in case anybody hasn't noticed, banks, brokers and high government officials have variously been accused - and some even admitted (though untried and none convicted) - of manipulating Libor rates, FX markets, precious metals, mortgages, commodities, municipal bonds and probably every other financial asset where a market is made.

So, should it surprise anyone if stocks are manipulated, rigged, fixed, flogged, whipped and played to the whims of the rentier class?

No, it certainly should not.

While the handwriting is plain as day on the Wall Street walls, scrolled in the signature style of the PPT.

When the announcement was made at 8:30 am ET Friday morning, that the US created a mere 113,000 jobs in January - after posting a horrifying 74,000 (upgraded to 75,000 this morning) for December - stock futures headed due south, sending the implied opens for the major indices to morning lows.

However, within minutes, those losses in the futures markets were wiped away, as the futures galloped up, up and away, pointing to a counterintuitive higher open for US markets.

The Dow, together with Thursday's vapor ramp, put in the best two-day performance since October, and US markets still haven't had a 10% correction since August of 2011.

Apparently, one should believe that the lower jobs numbers are somehow good for the economy, in that the Fed may begin to "un-taper" their recent tapering of bond purchases and bring the legendary punch bowl back to the Wall Street jubilee, where the connected truly do get "money for nothing" and the chicks (and coke) for free.

Apparently, one should believe that $100-per-barrel crude oil and $3.50-4.00-a-gallon gas are good for the economy.

We wisened investors should also believe that gold is permanently priced at $1250 per ounce, silver at $20, all mortgage-backed securities are worth 100% of their par value, real estate never goes down, Janet Yellen and the rest of her Fed brethren have the best interests of the US citizenry at heart, pigs fly and flying unicorns that poop rainbows are real and are stabled in the basement of the Mariner-Eccles building.

We should embrace a president who openly lies, a congress which will not impeach, a spy agency who reads this, knows you are reading it, listens in on everything, everywhere, all the time, a steadily-declining median household income even in the face of the top 10% making more than ever, part-time jobs replacing full-time ones, taxes that only go up, regulations on everything and penalties for anything not covered by regulations.

It's all good, all the time, even if you're losing your home, having your kids taken from you and starving to death. At this pace, as the US economy plunges even deeper into depression than it already has, stocks should set all-time highs endlessly, without pause, forever.

For the record, Money Daily will stick to its call made days ago, that the market has turned from bull to bear, be proven wrong, but understand that nothing is really as it seems. As conditions in the real world worsen, they'll only get better on Wall Street, in Washington and on the paper facade that is CNBC and Bloomberg. Buy it, own it, be it.

Good is evil. War is peace. Love is hate. Stay short and get slaughtered. After all, if Wall Street doesn't take your phony paper money, Washington will.

Emerging market economies will always be emerging, and never become "developed" even if their GDP is larger than that of all the developed nations combined. And, besides, they don't matter.

George Orwell would be proud.

We have always been at war with Eastasia... or Eurasia.

DOW 15,794.08, +165.55 (+1.06%)
NASDAQ 4,125.86, +68.74 (+1.69%)
S&P 1,797.02, +23.59 (+1.33%)
10-Yr Note 100.57, +0.44 (+0.44%) Yield: 2.68%
NASDAQ Volume 1.92 Bil
NYSE Volume 3.75 Bil
Combined NYSE & NASDAQ Advance - Decline: 4216-1466
Combined NYSE & NASDAQ New highs - New lows: 141-44
WTI crude oil: 99.88, +2.04
Gold: 1,262.90, +5.70
Silver: 19.94, +0.008
Corn: 444.25, +1.25