Dovish Bernanke Speaks, Market Goes Full Retard, to Record Highs

Free market and Austrian economists beware!

There is a dangerous monster afoot, who by merely speaking a few words can alter global markets to whatever whim he so desires.

On Wednesday, shortly after the market closed, this monster, this unsightly beast, one Benjamin Shalom (we kid you not) Bernanke, Chairman of the United States Federal Reserve Bank (an international cartel), spoke in Cambridge, Massachusetts, and intoned, in part, that the 7.6% unemployment rate "overstated" the health of the labor market.

Translated into Fed-speak - which is all that matters to equity markets these days - what he meant was that there was no need for investors to panic. The Federal reserve has every intention of keeping monetary policy incredibly loose, so that even if the Fed dials back its $85 billion-a-month bond purchasing program a little, they do not believe that the US or global economy is strong enough to survive without stimulative measures.

The result was a strong gap-up at the open on Thursday and an all-day party for Wall Street bulls with the S%P 500 and the Dow Industrials closing at all-time highs. Bears were once again crushed and the rookie Dow Theorists who surmised that the dip from a few weeks ago was a sure-fire reversal into a bear market (we here at MD did not confirm any such theoretical reversal, though indications were close) were once again proven not only wrong but absolutely clueless when it comes to Dow Theory.

Markets have now been completely voided of any validity to fundamental valuation. All that remains is intonations from the beast of the Fed and his minions, sending markets any which way they choose. These are markets distorted completely out of focus from reality, in 1984-esque fashion, where bad news (Bernanke is correct, 7.6% unemployment is, in itself, a gross distortion of reality - stripping out part-time, temporary and distressed and discouraged workers, unemployment is closer to 20%) is good because the Fed will continue to supply unlimited liquidity.

In the end, be it five days, five weeks, five months, five years or longer, the stimulus will save nothing. Sovereign economies will end in shambles (some, like Greece, Portugal, Cyprus and Ireland already are), but for now, all anybody with as much as half a brain left after all the brain-washing by the media and immoral rounds of bailouts, bail-ins, rescues and refinances can do is play along, go along or go one's own way, the latter of which is highly refreshing and the only proper course of action.

Five years into the global currency melt-down, carnage is everywhere, the rich are even richer, the middle class on the endangered species list and the bottom tier nothing more than debt slaves for life.

This is not your father's America. It is not even the America you grew up into, if you are more than 30 years of age. This is an abomination, a monstrosity of complexity, a leviathan more frightening than even Thomas Hobbes could have dreamt.

Happy sailing, oh rudderless ones!

Dow 15,460.92, +169.26 (1.11%)
NASDAQ 3,578.30, +57.55 (1.63%)
S&P 500 1,675.02, +22.40 (1.36%)
NYSE Composite 9,493.21, +152.52 (1.63%)
NASDAQ Volume 1,680,093,125
NYSE Volume 3,796,463,500
Combined NYSE & NASDAQ Advance - Decline: 5246-1307
Combined NYSE & NASDAQ New highs - New lows: 772-21 (abominal!)
WTI crude oil: 104.91, -1.61
Gold: 1,279.90, +32.50
Silver: 19.96, +0.791

Here's Your Change: Nothing

Another exciting day of nothingness.

As Steve Martin once intoned, "let's get all excited and go to a yawning party!"

Dow 15,291.66, -8.68 (0.06%)
NASDAQ 3,520.76, +16.50 (0.47%)
S&P 500 1,652.62, +0.30 (0.02%)
NYSE Composite 9,340.69, -0.72 (0.01%)
NASDAQ Volume 1,534,129,000
NYSE Volume 3,346,692,750
Combined NYSE & NASDAQ Advance - Decline: 3530-2857
Combined NYSE & NASDAQ New highs - New lows: 441-50
WTI crude oil: 106.52, +2.99
Gold: 1,247.40, +1.50
Silver: 19.16, +0.027

Thanks to Bernanke, Stocks Can Only Go Up

It was another completely uneventful day on Wall Street - no earnings news outside of Alcoa (trading at a 34 p/e, wow!), no economic data - so the computer algos were free to ramp stocks higher, and they did so.

A small dip around 10:30 am EDT gave the bears some hope, but that faded fast, and stocks resumed their levitation, hovering listlessly around the highs of the session right into the close.

At these levels of (dis)interest and lack of meaningful news flow, the Dow could conceivably gain 1200-1500 points per month for the remainder of the year. Since nobody seems to give a whit about fundamental valuations, unchecked, Dow 20,000 becomes a distinct possibility by the end of the year.

Seriously, that's how warped these markets are.

God bless you, Ben Bernanke. You've brought untold wealth and prosperity to almost seven percent of Americans, those being the already rich and already prosperous, while denying safe investments bearing standard interest to hard-working, middle and lower-class savers. You are a scion. The bankers you've bailed out and bankrolled with ZIRP and QE should kiss your naked feet and bedeck you in roses and lavender.

Dow 15,300.34, +75.65 (0.50%)
NASDAQ 3,504.26, +19.43 (0.56%)
S&P 500 1,652.32, +11.86 (0.72%)
NYSE Composite 9,341.40, +75.11 (0.81%)
NASDAQ Volume 1,588,836,625
NYSE Volume 3,460,031,000
Combined NYSE & NASDAQ Advance - Decline: 4438-1990
Combined NYSE & NASDAQ New highs - New lows: 585-49
WTI crude oil: 103.53, +0.39
Gold: 1,245.90, +11.00
Silver: 19.14, 0.10

Stocks Gain on 0 News

The was nothing even remotely newsworthy yo kick off the trading week, so, quite un-naturally, stocks gapped higher at the open and maintained a positive bias - except for the NASDAQ, which oddly lagged - for the duration.

Focus was more on the after-hours, when Alcoa (AA) kicked off earnings season for the second quarter, by posting EPS of .07 on expectations of .06, and had in-line revenue.

Dow 15,224.69, +88.85 (0.59%)
NASDAQ 3,484.83, +5.45 (0.16%)
S&P 500 1,640.46, +8.57 (0.53%)
NYSE Composite 9,266.28, +52.10 (0.57%)
NASDAQ Volume 1,476,924,000
NYSE Volume 3,717,259,750
Combined NYSE & NASDAQ Advance - Decline: 3896-2690
Combined NYSE & NASDAQ New highs - New lows: 645-56
WTI crude oil: 103.14, -0.08
Gold: 1,234.90, +22.20
Silver: 19.04, +0.302

Jobs Data Sends Stocks Screaming Higher; 10-Year at 1.71%

This was different.

For a change, good news - an increase of 195,000 jobs in June, according to the monthly BLS non-farm payroll survey - was good news.

Interest rates, on the other hand, took the matter more seriously, with the 10-year note bobbing up to 1.71%, a two-year high, that has some deep thinkers saying 30-year mortgages could reach six percent by the end of the year.

Other optimistic assessments of the economy include unicorns on roller skates and free houses for everyone.

The huge gains notwithstanding, volume was one of the lowest of they year, which, naturally, will be blamed on Friday being part of a four-day weekend. The markets will keep the gains, nonetheless.

Looks like we're off to the races again, with second quarter earnings beginning to trickle in next week, though most forecasters have lowered 2Q GDP estimates to under 1%.

The over-riding theme of the market is that this is a great economy, even if it isn't.

Crude oil is hitting multi-year highs; gold and silver are making multi-year lows.

That makes about as much sense as sending sixth grader to the store for whiskey and smokes.

American markets are the greatest show snow job on earth.

Dow 15,135.84, +147.29 (0.98%)
NASDAQ 3,479.38, +35.71 (1.04%)
S&P 500 1,631.89, +16.48 (1.02%)
NYSE Composite 9,214.17, +79.09 (0.87%)
NASDAQ Volume 1,205,887,125
NYSE Volume 2,960,337,250
Combined NYSE & NASDAQ Advance - Decline: 3937-2511
Combined NYSE & NASDAQ New highs - New lows: 493-112
WTI crude oil: 103.22, +1.98
Gold: 1,212.70, -39.20
Silver: 18.74, -0.964